Elon Musk's pasta dab

2024 Tus sau: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-16 16:06

Cov ntawv nyeem lom zem txog Musk txoj kev ua tiav thiab tsis yog kev sim foob pob hluav taws heev.

Kuv tus hluas nyeem ntawv! Yog lawm, koj mus rau qhov kev ua qauv foob pob hluav taws, thiab koj xav tsis thoob vim li cas cov kws ua haujlwm hauv Lavxias tau luag zoo li cov nees los ntawm Canadian poop Elon Musk - hauv kev nkag siab ntawm engineering, thiab tsis yog nyob rau hauv kev nkag siab ntawm ib tug ntse swindler uas pov lub Invisible Tes ntawm lub. Kev lag luam hauv Asmeskas pob nyiaj mus txog lub xub pwg nyom. (Thiab nws yuav tseem nyob hauv Asmeskas cov peev nyiaj, zoo li nws cov patrons los ntawm Congress, thiab Vajtswv yuav nrog lawv, nrog xiav (hauv txhua qhov kev nkag siab) tub sab, tab sis peb yuav tham txog, qhov tseeb, engineering nuances uas tsis yog kev coj noj coj ua. nyob rau hauv lub sijhawm ntawm cov neeg siv khoom tsim nyog).

Boring thaum xub thawj.

foob pob ua ntxaij engineering, raws li ib tug neeg kho tshuab engineering kev lag luam, absorbs kev txawj ntse thiab technologies ntawm metalworking, cov ntaub ntawv science, instrumentation, lej qauv, tsis pom kev, thiab lwm yam yuav tsum tau, txwv, tolerances thiab landings, qhov kev paub no accumulates nyob rau hauv lub xyoo thiab ntau xyoo, tag nrho cov complex yog. tsis muaj nqis txawm ntau pua lab, tab sis trillions nyiaj, xeev trillions, trillions los ntawm hnab ris ntawm cov neeg Amelikas.

Tab sis yog tias koj, raws li tsoomfwv lobbyist, muaj trillion-dollar NASA, uas, raws li tsoomfwv lub koom haum, muaj lub luag haujlwm rau pawg kws kho mob nruj-saib xyuas, thiab koj tiag tiag, xav nyiag, ces koj yuav tsum tuaj nrog. ib co super-kim project uas, zoo li ib tug toad los ntawm ib tug straw, nws yuav ua tau kom inflate nyob rau hauv lub Tshuag pauv, ib txhij tso nyiaj tawm ntawm cov peev nyiaj.

Txhawm rau ua qhov no, koj:

- koj ntiav ib tug chatty dude nrog ci qhov muag, - koj ntiav ib pab neeg ntawm PR cov neeg, cov neeg tsim qauv thiab lwm tus, txawm tias muaj zog npaum li cas, yog li tsis tsim nyog, - sau npe rau ib lub tuam txhab ntiag tug hauv California, thiab lub tuam txhab ntiag tug no tsis tas yuav tsum tshaj tawm cov nuances ntawm koj cov nyiaj txiag noj qab haus huv (gygy), - koom ua ke rau hauv no sharaga: patents, technologies, tiav tej yaam num, technical documentation (ntau txhiab lub ntim thiab ntau pua txhiab tus duab kos - tab sis vim qhov no yog qhov tsis txaj muag tshaj plaws ntawm lub xeev cov cuab yeej cuab tam muaj nqis ntau pua lab nyiaj daus las los ntawm cov neeg lub hnab tshos, koj Tshaj tawm cov chatty dude tus super-duper Inventor) thiab npaj ua haujlwm ua haujlwm ntawm cov neeg tsim khoom tiag tiag (qhov no yog qhov tseem ceeb - tag nrho pab pawg) ncaj qha los ntawm NASA, - thawb los ntawm Pawg Neeg Saib Xyuas Kev Siv Nyiaj Txiag lub tswv yim tias nyob rau hauv txoj kev no koj txo lub nra ntawm NASA cov peev nyiaj, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog ntawm nws cov nyiaj laus (peb nco ntsoov tias NASA cov neeg ua haujlwm - cov kws tshaj lij engineers - maj mam laus?), - koj muab cov me nyuam yug tshiab sharaga nrog kev, thev naus laus zis, kev txhawb nqa patent, txuas cov tub rog, kev txawj ntse thiab kev tawm tsam, ntsiag to pua pua thiab txhiab tus neeg tuav ntaub ntawv, koj ntsiag to ntau thiab ntau pua tus neeg sau xov xwm uas dheev nkag siab qhov twg nws zoo dua tsis txhob sim "dav " nyob rau hauv koj lub neej, txwv tsis pub, lub fuck nrog ib tug hma daim pib yuav raug rho tawm haujlwm, koj txuas kaum thiab pua pua thawj-chav xov xwm rau lub tuam txhab Ingenious ntawm lub cim Suddenly tawm ntawm Nowhere Genius Inventor, - koj muab Cov Pabcuam Tshwj Xeeb Zoo Tshaj Plaws ntawm Cov Hluas thiab Cov Daring nrog ntau thiab ntau qhov kev txiav txim ntawm kev lag luam satellite (yog, leej twg, leej twg tuaj yeem mus qhov twg plaub lub hnub qub generals thiab tanned congressmen nrog noble grey plaub hau yog grazing), - koj sib tham nrog cov tub luam lag luam, cov neeg lag luam, cov koom haum ntsuam xyuas, cov tuam txhab nyiaj, nrog rau tag nrho cov hma pob, kom lawv "yuav tsum saib qhov twg lawv yuav tsum, thiab qhov twg lawv yuav tsum tsis txhob saib, lub taub hau yuav daus, nws yuav phem heev, kws kho mob yuav raug xa mus, koj tuaj yeem poob ntawm lub qhov rais, choking ntawm cov roj txiv roj, rape tus tub txib hauv davhlau - xaiv Jamesbond cov kev pabcuam ", - tab sis koj tsis tuaj yeem tsim cov foob pob hluav taws ncaj qha ntawm NASA cov chaw, yog li koj pab pawg tshiab minted nrhiav cov chaw tsim khoom (tag nrho kev koom tes yog ntau thiab ntau lub tuam txhab ntiag tug, ib nrab thiab tag nrho cov tuam txhab hauv xeev, feem ntau los ntawm Pentagon department) nrog rau keeb kwm ntawm aerospace qhov twg nws yuav ua tau rivet foob pob ua ntxaij raws li tej yaam num leaked (dawb xwb, piv txwv li pub dawb) los ntawm NASA), - thiab - zoo li cov txiv ntoo ntawm lub ncuav mog qab zib - koj cog lus rau txhua tus tias koj tsis yog ua foob pob ua ntxaij (NASA tuaj yeem ua qhov no - thiab vim li cas cog lub vaj?) - koj cog lus tias koj tab tom ua Qhov Kev Pabcuam Tshwj Xeeb, TUAJ NTAWM HAUV LUB NTIAJ TEB ! tsaws rau ntiaj chaw ntiaj teb! Hurray, yeej, Hollywood catches ntau orgasms.

Yog tias koj tuaj yeem ua tau tag nrho hauv ob peb lub hlis, ces koj yog los ntawm pab pawg neeg Asmeskas hauv tsev, tsis tsawg. Yog li ntawd, txhua yam yog npaj txhij rau kev sib nrauj suckers, txhua leej txhua tus yog npaj txhij, them, tawm thiab zoo siab.

Tab sis cov no yog fucking missiles! Qhov no yog fakinshit, ntiaj chaw ntiaj teb! Thiab ntawm nws yog lub ntiajteb txawj nqus, cov cai ntawm xwm thiab ntau yam me me engineering txwv.

Lawv yog dab tsi?

Qhov no yog lub voj voog geostationary qhov twg satellites yuav tsum "dai".

Qhov no yog lub voj voog ISS, qhov twg (zoo, txhua tus tuaj yeem ua tau li ntawd, puas yog?) Kev xa khoom ntawm cov tsheb thauj khoom thiab, yav tom ntej, cov neeg caij nkoj - cov neeg nyob. (Tam sim no, lub xeev NASA tau muab cov kev pabcuam ntawm lub tuam txhab ntiag tug ntiag tug, uas - saib saum toj no - tsis tas yuav tsum tshaj tawm txog cov qauv ntawm cov nyiaj txiag ntws, cov tswv lag luam, thiab lwm yam - dab tsi ntxim nyiam, tsis yog. nws?).

Cov no yog qhov ntev thiab qhov nruab nrab loj ntawm kev sib txuas lus thiab tub rog satellites - tsawg kawg yog ob peb tons (tsis txhob cuam tshuam nrog microsatellite? Txhua tus neeg mob hnyav, peb ua haujlwm hnyav).

Yog li ntawd, los ntawm lub orbital loj tau muab pov rau hauv lub geostationary orbit thiab los ntawm cov loj ntawm cov tsheb thauj khoom (thiab ships nrog tib neeg), lub foob pob ua ntxaij lub zog tawm.

Lawm, koj tsis tuaj yeem tau txais lub tshuab ua tiav NASOV tawm ntawm koj lub hnab ris, vim tias txhua tus yuav xav tsis thoob - dab tsi yog qhov tshwj xeeb thiab kev txawj ntse? Yog li ntawd, nyob rau hauv koj lub hnab tshos koj yuam kev pom ua hauj lwm tawm nasov kos duab ntawm lub qub cav los ntawm ib tug American lunar lander (leej twg hais tias patents? Leej twg hais tias sawv?) Thiab coj lub cav no ua lub ntsiab cruise engine. Tab sis koj xav tau ntau lub tshuab hluav taws xob qis, cuaj thaum pib - tab sis koj qw nrov nrov tias qhov no yog Kev Sib Tw rau yav tom ntej - thiab cov neeg hawk.

Lawm, thev naus laus zis ntawm kev tsaws ntawm lub ntiaj teb tau ua tiav rau ntau tshaj 60 xyoo, yog li koj coj tib lub tswv yim los ntawm lunar lander thiab muab cov ceg tsaws rau lub foob pob hluav taws. Tab sis ntawm no ib qho kev lag luam pib pib - cov foob pob hluav taws pov tseg ib txwm tau mus txog qhov zoo tshaj plaws uas cov phab ntsa ntawm lawv cov qauv yog nyias li sai tau, yog li cov kws ua haujlwm ib txwm siv los ua kom muaj zog ntawm cov ntaub ntawv thaum sau cov tso tsheb hlau luam nrog cov pa oxygen. Thiab lawv qhia rau koj tias nws yooj yim tsis yooj yim sua kom muab cov kev txhawb nqa tsaws rau cov phab ntsa nyias - yog li ntawd, koj yuav tsum tau laj kab kev txhawb nqa txoj siv sia, thickenings raws tag nrho lub plhaub, ntxiv dag zog rau cov qauv, muab lub zog rau "ob txhais ceg" - thiab qhov no yog txhua yam nyuaj., qhov no yog txhua yam kev tsim kho, lub zog, thiab qhov hnyav hnyav, thiab tsis yog txhua yam zoo li ntawm qhov kev nthuav qhia zoo nkauj uas koj tau pom hauv Congress (lossis tsis yog koj, tab sis koj tus tanned patron nrog noble grey plaub hau - thiab vim li cas nws thiaj li xav tau tag nrho cov mob taub hau no? Txiav txim siab, redneck, lawv tau muab nyiaj rau koj!) - thiab koj tuaj yeem tso rau qhov tshwj xeeb (Kuv tsis tso dag) pawg engineering (uas lawv muab rau koj, zoo li qhev, hauv ntau) - thiab lawv ua qhov tsis yooj yim - lawv ua haujlwm tawm. Hmoov tsis zoo folding tsaws kev txhawb nqa, lawv ua nws zoo kawg nkaus, raws li Asmeskas cov engineers tiag tiag tuaj yeem … tab sis tag nrho cov ntsiab lus tseem tsis tau tiav.

Lawm, rau qhov chaw mos ntawm lub foob pob hluav taws, koj xav tau ntau cov roj thiab cov oxidizer - qhov no yog tib yam "tuag" huab hwm coj uas tsis muaj txiaj ntsig rau kev tso lub satellite rau hauv lub voj voog, tab sis koj yuav tsum nqa qhov hnyav no txhawm rau lav koj. foob pob hluav taws rau tsaws rau ntawm lub platform hauv dej hiav txwv (ntawm no koj qw nrov nrov, vim hais tias rau txhua kilogram ntxiv ntawm cov qauv koj yuav tsum tau noj roj ntxiv - lossis txo cov lus tshaj tawm, tau cog lus tseg orbital mass).

Lawm, muaj lunar thev naus laus zis, ib pawg ntawm cov tshuab lunar, koj tab tom sim ua qee yam txuag ntawm kev tsim kho. Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog tias koj tsis tuaj yeem tsim koj lub foob pob hluav taws ntawm cosmodrome nws tus kheej - tsuas yog tsis muaj fakinshit technologists, cov neeg ua haujlwm, welders, metallurgists, locksmiths thiab tag nrho cov no rabble uas xav noj thiab fuck cov poj niam, yog li koj, sim ua qee yam txuag nyiaj., yuav tsum xa cov cuaj luaj nyob rau hauv qhov chaw mus rau Vanderberg tub rog puag (leej twg hais tias - lub Pentagon?) - tab sis yuav ua li cas rau qhov no, tsuas yog los ntawm rail ??

Thiab tom qab ntawd Nws Tus Poj Huab Tais Txaus Ntshai - Lub Railroad Gauge - los ua si. Koj tsis tuaj yeem hloov cov txuas hniav, hla, kev sib cuag kab raws tag nrho qhov ntev ntawm txoj kev los ntawm lub Hoobkas mus rau qhov chaw tsim khoom, yog li koj yuav tsum haum rau cov qauv rau qhov siab tshaj plaws ntawm 3.7 meters. Peb INTEGRAL SEVEN TENFACES meters. Qhov ntawd yog txhua yam koj ua tau. Koj puas nkag siab? Koj, tus thawj coj ntawm Tebchaws Meskas, uas ua rau txhua tus neeg mob qog noj ntshav, yuav tsum suav nrog kev ntsuas kev tsheb ciav hlau.

Huag Kay, cowboys, yog li yuav ua li cas nrog peb cuaj Merlins thiab 3.7 meter tsheb ciav hlau ntsuas? Thiab ces nws hloov tawm cov qus, nplaum ntshai heev ntawm ib tug engineer - nyob rau hauv thiaj li yuav khoom ntau npaum li cas roj thiab oxidizer nyob rau hauv thiaj li yuav kom koj rub lub cog lus load rau hauv orbit, koj yuav tsum tau ua ib lub foob pob ua ntxaij siab … siab … (tsa lub laij lej, nws yog dab tuag dag nyob rau hauv swoon) - 70 (hauv lus - SEVENTY) meters …

Koj xav phem. Koj yeej xav tsis zoo - nrog ib txoj kab uas hla ntawm 3.7 meters, koj yuav tsum xyuas kom meej lub davhlau lub zog ntawm "macaroni" 70 meters ntev (sib faib 70 los ntawm 3.7 thiab peb tau txais ib tug piv ntawm 18.9 - ib tug mus rau kaum cuaj!). Qhov phem tshaj plaws yog tias koj yuav tsum ua kom muaj kev ruaj ntseg ntawm thawj theem ntawm "macaroni" ntawm lub platform hauv dej hiav txwv (leej twg hais tias - nthwv dej ?!) - ib kem, 55 meters siab - thiab khaws cia nyob rau hauv ib txwm cua (leej twg hais - cua siab?!). Nws yog qhov phem heev rau koj - koj yuav tsum tau nce koj "sab ceg". Lawv tsuas yog yuav tsum tau ntev dua. Nrog rau lawv qhov ntev, lawv yuav tsum tau ua kom tuab, muaj zog (leej twg hais tias - peb txiav los ntawm qhov hnyav?!). Rau txhua qhov ntxiv kilogram ntawm "ceg", rau txhua kilogram ntxiv "pasta" - koj xav tau roj ntxiv thiab oxygen. Fakinshit. Riley yog fucking.

Koj tab tom sim txhim kho engineering zoo ntawm no pasta dab. Koj, dhau los ntawm kev sib tsoo, rub tawm cov thev naus laus zis ntawm supercooling kerosene thiab oxygen los ntawm koj lub ris dav - yog li tsawg kawg ob peb feem pua ntawm cov roj thiab oxidizer tuaj yeem shoved rau hauv tib lub tso tsheb hlau luam - thaum koj nyob ntsiag to txog tus nqi ntawm cov cuab yeej technology - cov no yog kev poob thiab cov nqi, nws tag nrho cov nqi nyiaj, tsis muab rau hauv ib qho kev kwv yees, tab sis koj tsis quav ntsej txog qhov kwv yees - koj yuav tsum ua hauj lwm rau "pasta vajtswv" thiab cov cai ntawm lub cev ntawm lub ntiaj teb. Tab sis koj yog tus tswv ntawm Asmeskas. Koj mob taub hau. Koj tus neeg ua yeeb yam dhia thoob plaws hauv xov xwm, thiab koj cov npoj yaig los ntawm Pawg Neeg Saib Xyuas tau nug koj: "Hav, Billy, phooj ywg, nws mus nrog cov nyiaj faib li cas?"

Tsis yooj yim rau pem hauv ntej ntawm cov tub. Thiab yog li koj tus neeg tsim khoom siv hluav taws xob, qhov loj ntawm lub foob pob hluav taws hnyav, nyem los ntawm kev ntsuas kev tsheb ciav hlau, hnyav los ntawm "ceg" thiab cov khoom siv roj av tuag, pib tso rau hauv lub voj voog (tom qab tag nrho, koj muaj cov qhev thawj zaug uas ib zaug. ua hauj lwm ntawm NASA) lub orbital load uas lub teeb (zoo, zoo, lub teeb-middle class) foob pob ua ntxaij tuaj yeem tso tawm. Nyob rau hauv tus phooj ywg ze ze ntawm Russians thiab Europeans. Txawm yog Suav teb los.

Tab sis koj yog tus tswv ntawm Asmeskas. Thiab koj, stung los ntawm ib tug coyote, los ntawm ntau pua thiab txhiab lub hnab tshos xov xwm, quaj rau tag nrho lub ntiaj teb ntiaj chaw uas koj "macaroni" tab tom yuav zaum. Nws ntog ib zaug, nws ntog ob zaug - tab sis ntawm no yog ib tug tsaws !!! Koj tswj tsis txhob poob lub macaroni! Koj muaj cov programmer zoo tshaj plaws hauv ntiaj teb.

Tom ntej no yog dab tsi? Thiab tom qab ntawd - qhov tho txawv tshaj plaws - koj yuav tsum rov ua qhov tsis zoo tag nrho "macaroni" thiab tshuaj xyuas - nws tuaj yeem, qhov chaw qauv, kev kov yeej ntawm cov ntaub ntawv tshawb fawb thiab engineering, pib dua - koj yuav tsum kawm yuav ua li cas lub overload, kub thiab txias. kev co ciaj sia txhua lub caij, txhua lub gasket seb puas muaj microcracks hauv txhua qhov kev nthuav dav, hauv txhua qhov welded seam, puas muaj qhov tsis xws luag hauv txhua cov ntaub ntawv cable. Thiab koj muaj - ma-ka-ro-ni-na - nrog cuaj antediluvian lunar engines, muaj ntau pua txhiab qhov chaw, sib dhos thiab cov txheej txheem. Thiab txhua lub node yuav tsum ua haujlwm tsis zoo - tom qab tsaws - thiab rov ua haujlwm ntawm super-overloads.

Thiab koj, yuav luag tus tswv ntawm Amelikas, tus kws tshaj lij tshaj lij uas tau muab ntau pua txhiab tus kws kho mob tshwj xeeb - los ntawm tus kws tshaj lij fucking mus rau plaub lub hnub qub generals, los ntawm tus ntxhais PR mus rau tus neeg ua lag luam cunning los ntawm Lub Txhab Nyiaj Txiag Txog Qhov Zoo Tshaj Plaws - koj nkag siab tias koj yuav tsum ua siab ntev rau qhov kawg ntawm tus thawj tswj hwm lub sij hawm ntawm tus txiv neej tsaus ntuj nti nrog lub ntsej muag nkees, tsis txhob raug mos txwv, tsis txhob poob ntawm qhov rais, tsis txhob choke roj txiv roj thiab, Vajtswv txwv, tsis txhob rape tus nkauj qhe.

Thiab ua li cas txog koj tus menyuam yaus uas muaj qhov muag tsis pom kev? Thiab niaj hnub no nws raug yuam kom tshaj tawm rau pej xeem tias lub foob pob hluav taws ua tiav - raws li cov txiaj ntsig ntawm kev tshawb fawb - tsis tsim nyog rau rov pib dua.

Aw fucking shit…